Being public employee is less than satisfying. As a colleague once stated, “We enter the building wondering what we will be blamed for today.” I understand the sentiment.
Knowing that administration has no problems using children as spies in the classroom, I noted that a student who is usually either absent or late was actually on time yesterday. As soon as I came to that realization, she was summoned to the office. Interestingly, at the end of the day she was also summoned. Nothing has been said to me (yet), but I am wary.
Whether or not I will be chastised for some perceived sleight is yet to be determined. The effect is the same either way. I am on edge whether this involves me or not. Not having done anything doesn’t relieve the stress as a recent lecture of 25 minutes for something that the vice principal said did not happen and how children make up stuff all the time showed.
So, I left work disgruntled. Went to the doctor. She sent me on my way noting I should pick up an over-the-counter item. I went to get that at Acme. I could not find it. I went to customer service for help. Yeah, no help. The lady said it should be a certain aisle. I mentioned I had looked there but didn’t see it. She wasn’t about to walk with me to find the item. I looked again and again could not find it. I left.
Now I was frustrated. I decided that despite my intention to have a Delmonico this evening, I would just pick up Burger King since it was right there. I sat at the speaker for three minutes before I drove off.
At each stage of my afternoon, I felt more and more knotted.
I decided to hit the Rite Aid near my home so to keep from picking up pizza to soothe me. Yup, the Rite Aid at Corson Park is now closed Splendid!
Drove into town to the other Rite Aid. Got what I needed . . . plus two candy bars. Somehow I felt entitled to sweets to ease my discomfort.
I did eat that Delmonico. I did calm down and went to sleep. I did wake up very early today. I suspect underlying all this is trepidation on going to work and being hauled into the administrator’s office and being told about my tone, or something I have said, etc.
Not enjoying work these days.
But the real question: why do I get worked up over things I have no control over? And why do I give in to the candy to ease my stress?