Disappointing Weigh-In

Today I found out what it feels like to be on The Biggest Loser. Each week inevitably someone weighs in, loses weight, and is disappointed. That was me tonight.

Expectations are something. I was expecting a bigger number than I pulled. Hence, I cannot be happy for the weight I did lose.

It is no secret to me why I am so hard on myself; this is how I was reared. There is no time for self worth. As soon as one pauses for his accolade, everyone else gathers to bullrush you. I do not wallow in the glow of my success.

Tonight was the perfect example. I lost weight . . . 3.4 pounds. That’s a good amount. But it is not what I expected. I expected five pounds or more. Thus, even if I wanted to bask in weight loss glory, I couldn’t as I disappointed myself.

I am not one to build up one’s self esteem. I got here by myself. I need to resolve this by myself. I am less heavy than I was a week ago. That is good. It’s just going to be a long slow ride. Foghat knew this several decades ago . . .

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