This popped up in my Facebook feed. Just another thing that others struggled with that I thought was unique to me. I thought I was a poor father because I couldn’t get my son into the car seat. My ex-wife often had to get involved. That made me feel as though I was inadequate as a parent. Once, I actually carried my son home from the Rieck Avenue School because he wouldn’t get into the car seat. I then had to walk back to retrieve the Jeep.
After the last few days of being emotional with my daughter’s high school graduation, reality returned.
This girl, now a high school graduate, was to start a job this morning before going to college in August. But Beetle walks to her own drumbeat.
Her mother e-mailed me this morning: Beetle won’t go to her job. She’s had this anxiety before. Nothing’s changed.
But the consequences will . . . at least from my seat. I have no control (and never did) over others who continue to lavish her with what she wants. Why the girl’s cellphone is still operational for her to hang up on me is beyond how I would handle things. Then again, I was a poor role model for her as I was emphatically told.
G’luck conquering your mountain, Little One.
Roads are seldom straight. Enjoy each zig and every zag. Inhale deeply and savor life's menu. Embrace the thrilling rollercoaster ride. I am so proud of you, Abs! Your mountain awaits.
Picked this up some time ago. Fritz and I started this one night and abandoned it quite quickly. I was exhausted and we realized this was going to be a little more involved than others we had played.
The four of us sat down today and spent about four hours total solving this. The four of us work well together. Everyone contributed. We tossed theories about. We plotted the timeline, deciphered stuff (not as much as most of these), and worked our way through all possibilities.
I am proud of the work we did on this one. The game is rated decidedly harder than the other one-off boxes. I wouldn’t say it was hard, but it did require looking closely at the evidence.
I liked this box!
We then headed out for a late dinner at Chili’s to celebrate.
Fritz is here this weekend. Last weekend, Beetle commented that he had had detention. I questioned that and was informed that he had been missing school. When I investigated further, I found that hadn’t been the case although he had missed one day. I gather because I had asked, earlier this week I was told Fritz did miss a day of school this week because he was sick. Poor boy.
He arrived today. He’s coughing up his lungs. He looks horrible. He doesn’t have an appetite. He went to bed early. He’s snoring loudly. He is obviously still sick.
I asked Fritz when I realized he was still sick if he missed more than a day of school this week. Yup. “Three or four,” he said.
So yes, I was told he had missed a day. I had no idea he had missed most of the week. Sicker than anything, no issue with dropping him off here for the weekend to pass on his illness. Nice!
On top of that, in passing I was informed that the reason he was late in arriving is that Beetle was getting ready to go to Delaware for the evening.
Yeah, I am really removed from what is going on with my children. It’s almost as though I do not matter.
There’s not much going on in my life presently. Overall, that’s a good thing. 🙂 Tonight, however, I did attend an event. While it wasn’t very good, it was nice to be out of the house. When I left, I checked my e-mail before the long ride home. That is when I received a message that included the above photographs.
Life as a divorce father isn’t pleasant. I have been so removed from the day-to-day with my children, I am not even told of proms. Sure, there was the plea a few months ago to purchase a $500 dress for the event, but no, I didn’t know it was tonight. I wasn’t there to take photographs. I wasn’t there to smile, hold hands, and otherwise be Dad.
A friend of mine’s daughter attended prom recently. She posted a slew of photographs. Her daughter posed with every member of the family. The number of shots the daughter took with her mother and father were numerous. All in focus. All in vivid color.
I am not afforded that opportunity with my children. Pushed aside from the day-to-day.
While sad, I can’t let it beat me down. This is out of my control. I can’t stress over that with which I will be ineffectual. My role is different now regardless of my desires.
Beetle looks beautiful.
Parenting during divorce sucks. The day-to-day isn’t shared with me. That’s tough, but it is what it is.
When a father finds out a major decision was made that he was unaware of, well, what recourse is there? None.
It began with an e-mail asking if I would take just my daughter this weekend as there has been stress at the house and it was thought that a break from Beetle would be good. That’s not a problem. I can understand that. I agreed.
Then came the text from Beetle asking if she could spend the night here tonight. I asked her what the issue was.
She called and began whining about her her mother doesn’t love her, embarrasses her, etc Then I heard about rules that were applied that my daughter did not care for. All typical teenager complaints. I played it cool.
Then came the kicker. My dear daughter spent the evening at her boyfriend’s house. I believe it was last evening, perhaps the evening before. Then I learned that her mother drove her for the sleepover.
I counseled Beetle that she was losing my support with this. She hung up the phone on me.
I can absolutely guarantee that if I still lived in the house that there would have been no sleepover. I guarantee that Gert’s father would not have approved a sleepover when Gert was in high school. I don’t know the new fiance, but I suspect he would not approve one of his daughters sleeping over a boyfriend’s house while they were in high school.
But there it is. I had no say. My ex-FIL had no say. Presumably, the new fiance had no say. The one who determined that is my ex-wife.
And she wonders why her daughter rebels when limits are set on another day. Sheesh . . .
It was twenty years ago today . . .
Dad taught me many lessons that I use daily. Just yesterday I related a story to my students that Dad taught me. Boys look up to their fathers. Giants are seen!
Late last summer, I was binge watching Whose Line Is It Anyway. I’ve always enjoyed this show going way back to the English show. I liked Josie then. 🙂 Anyhow, the children saw some of these and seemed to like them too. Soon after, I saw that Whose Live Anyway was coming to Wilmington. I purchased tickets for the three of us. This had Ryan Stiles and Greg Proops and a couple other guys who gues on the show.
It’s basically the television show lighten up. We went up, had dinner, and then went to the beautiful theatre and laughed for a couple hours. It was nice hearing both children laugh aloud through this. I know they enjoyed it.
Sometimes my plans don’t materialize as planned. It did tonight. 🙂
It was a different type of evening for us. It worked out well. Good times!