Tag Archives: Muhlenberg

College Majors

Storytelling sometimes dips into exaggeration. There was a YouTube video on that mentioned college majors. My immediate thought was, “I had 10 majors.” Well, at least that is what I have said over the years. I don’t think that is true.

Here is a list:

  • Philosophy
  • Business Administration
  • Economics
  • Accounting
  • Finance
  • Art
  • English
  • Psychology

College was a long time ago. I am not certain about this list.

Absolutely, Philosophy and Business Administration are definitely on the list as I graduated with degrees in these areas. I know for a fact I was an art major for a semester because it was the only way I was permitted to take the 3-D Design class I wanted to take.

The others listed above I think I had declared at some point along the way, but I cannot be certain.

I went to college to be an accountant. I am certain that is because my sister had been an accounting major and it seemed like something I would like. I took Accounting 101 (or whatever it was called at my school). It was 8:00 in the morning class. It was the only class I had on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I rarely made the class.

I had heard the professor did a thorough review for the final on the final class period. I dragged myself to class that day. He collected a project that had been assigned. I went to the professor after class and stated I had missed the last class and would he provide me that assignment. He shared that we had had a few weeks to complete this. He then checked his attendance roster and announced I did not attend class very often. Awkward. He gave me the project and asked me to have it on his desk by 2:00 that afternoon.

When all was said and done, I earned one of the three As that semester. I was good at accounting. I was bored silly, however. I could not envision myself doing that for the rest of my life. Looking back, I think accounting would have actually been a very good profession for me.

I am rather certain I maneuvered through economics and finance as majors. It seems that psychology was something I considered for a minute or two as well. Even so, it wasn’t 10 majors unless I have forgotten some.

My Yoga Story

In order to graduate college, I had to take eight gym classes. We earned no credit for these, but they had to be taken. For some reason, we all wanted to take the “no sweat” classes. I bowled. It seems to me I may have done archery too. Anyhow, going into my senior spring semester, I needed one more gym in order to graduate. What did I take? Yoga!

I figured this was the perfect no sweat class. Of course, the very first class the instructor informed us that if we missed more than one class, she would not sign off that we had taken it. Uh oh . . .

Now as a grown man this all sounds quite silly, but I know at the time, actually going to these classes was not foremost on my mind . . . particularly with my schedule.

Jumping back to the summer before my freshman year, I signed up for a series of classes that remarkably created a schedule of no classes before noon. Unbelievable! As a matter of fact, I mastered scheduling as an undergraduate. In my four years I recall but three classes prior to lunch. The semester I took Accounting 101 (or whatever it was called) I had that class at 8:00. Yikes! Of course, it was the only class I had on Tuesday and Thursday that semester. Kewl! I recall the semester I took tennis that tennis was right before lunch. I have memories of rolling out of bed, grabbing whatever was close, throwing a hat on my head, and walking the 100 feet to the tennis courts. And then there was my senior spring semester.

Yes, going out of college I took a morning class. My schedule was such that I had classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Because of good scheduling, my Ethics class was done by 10:00 on Thursday morning. I then left campus. I know for some of the semester I drove to Cape May to work. For part of it though, I know I was catching all the Grateful Dead shows up and down the east coast. I lived out of the trunk of my new car. I often shuttled around Butterscotch, my orange tabby kitty. Anyhow, Mondays would come around and wherever I was, I needed to get back to campus for my 3:00 yoga class. At 21, my driving habits were much different than they are now. I recall weekly hauling ass up the Northeast Extension at *ahem* rapid speed to get to class. I was usually running late, but would dart into the class, lay down on the mat, do the stretch, and then focus on whatever she told us to. My heart always took a few minutes to settle down from the scampering I had done to get back for this silly no-credit sleep-fest.

This is my yoga story.

Zip Codes #3

11-05-29 GC1PJTP

39.6423 -74.656

I recall pudding wrestling. And a disappearing Coca~Cola bottle. I watched the Redskins-Raiders Super Bowl there too. Good times, although I would be hard-pressed to come up with a name. I bailed eventually recognizing that my friends were not going to be there in the end.

I was an East Rat. Ultimate. The single. The quad. Roxanne and the snow. Donna’s “problem”. The Stray Cats. George Carlin. Hacky sack. Five feet and red. And the veil. The veil was what it was all about then. Matters so little now. Perspective.

I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it.

Budd Schulberg, On the Waterfront

Could’ves, should’ves, would’ves will not move one forward. I am Descartes. Yeah, he was there too. A more lasting legacy . . . and more noble.

Red m&ms, Scruples, Pat Spang, Lud, the forehead, and Third Reich. I learned to think in that building. Mules rule. Not really, they’re just stubborn beasts. “No kidding.”

The Deer Hunter made a lasting impression. As did The Wall. Sick. Hacking. Kiss of the Spider Woman, Midnight Express, The Great Gatsby and many more. We were a little movie group, it seems. And then there was Mexican restaurant. Not many bad times, yet totally out of mind.

The pink flamingo run was classic!

Less-Fewer, Again

Sigh . . . folks love being proud of their alma maters.  That’s fine, but it isn’t me.  Mostly it stems from the fact I have no association whatsoever with my college.  While it was a fine experience, a good school, etc., I have no ties to it.  None of this is surprising, I didn’t even attend my graduation.

For the last decade or so, however, I have read the school’s newspaper online.  They finally got with it and offered an RSS feed.

Every now and then something is written that catches my attention.  Such was this week’s checklist for Spring Break.  Not surprising condoms were on the list.

Pack condoms. We’re not implying that you’re going to have sex with strangers; we’re just going along with what MTV Spring Break has taught us since we were nine.

Plus, you don’t want to be stuck in a foreign country where you can’t read the label and end up buying a box of Wet Naps instead of Trojans.

Cute.  Of course, what the hell are they teaching at this Lutheran school that condoms are acceptable?  Anyhow . . . after the advice of not flashing boobs I read:

Of course, if you’re trying to reverse that double standard where girls can’t be players, then the less names you know the better.

The use of less is problematic.  Is there no editor?  That’s not it, there’s a whole page of editors.

As I have noted before, fewer is used for things that are finite, less for those that are measured.

One of the things I teach my students is to listen to how the sentence sounds when spoken aloud.  I gather Ms. Grinenko and Ms. Kaczmarczik are unfamiliar with this lesson.

When I attended Muhlenberg, Dr. Thornberg taught Freshman English.   He was a crotchety old man.  I liked him.  While all the first years napped during his class, I recall him stating that he was talking at us.  During a conference I reminded him that some of us (me, anyhow) paid attention and participated, therefore, he was speaking with us.  He reminded me of my grandfather.  I am certain he would be disappointed to know that less was used in a school publication in this fashion.

Why I Took Spanish

This evening I caught part of a commercial that piqued my interest. Of course, I couldn’t begin to tell you what was being sold thus adding to the data that suggests advertising does not work on me. Anyhow, two guys were talking and one of them indicated that he was raising money to save the pandas and the whales. Just then a girl comes by with a Save the Pandas and Whales T-shirt on. The audience then understands the guy’s real motivation.

I can relate.

A long time ago I attended my undergraduate college’s orientation. During this time I was to register for my classes. I sat in the bleachers; I guess it was the basketball court we were in. I don’t quite remember. Nevertheless, I waited my turn. I pretty much knew what I wanted to take. I got to talking to a very pretty girl. I was smitten.  She mentioned she was going to take Spanish. With that, my plans to take French went out the window.

I had taken Latin and French in high school and thought I should stick with what I knew. A girl changed all that.

The kicker to the story is that despite attending a very small college (smaller than most people’s high schools, although mine had graduated just 60 of us), I never saw that girl again.

A Liberal Arts Education

While conservative, I am a proponent of liberal arts education. As a product of such an education, I think it works. 🙂

Yet, in recent years, it has been ever more distressing to read what passes as college level. Many speak of the need of remedial programs during the freshman year. Yikes! Why are schools accepting students who cannot perform at the level they are being taught?

And then there are the courses that are offered. To that end I was most surprised to read about this interesting program.

The programs focus is having world renown magicians and art theorists visit the College and perform . . . The College plans to embrace this symposium by offering classes that correlate with this program. This includes performing magic taught by a studio arts class.

Muhlenberg College, the school offering this, is a small liberal arts school. At $38,240 annually (not including books), I wonder how many parents will revel in spending that kind of money for their children to learn how to palm a quarter or deal three-card Monte.

Color me unimpressed. I know I am now middle-aged and probably do not understand the children today, but really, is this what we want from a liberal arts education? Of course, this is nothing new.


As I end my schooling, I can look back on many memories. I can relish in the thought that I partook in some of the most foolish actiivties that a person can and I can frown that many of these activities were killing me. Now that these are behind me, I can look forward with grand anticipation that I will step into the “real world” and become another statistic in the meaningless world history that we struggle to comprehend. Yet, there are a few things (for me anyhow) that make it worthwhile. And it is these that keep me sane.

Muhlenberg College Graduation

87-05-17 Muhlenberg Diploma

For the four years I attended Muhlenberg, I knew almost no one in my own class. I lived in an upper-classman dorm all four years. My friends were older. Then they were younger. The only students I can think of that were in my class were Liz and Martha, and once Craig graduated, I didn’t hang with them at all.

Graduation didn’t mean anything to me. Dana’s parents had just purchased the home in Maine. We went up there with Leslie and then to Boston. I don’t really remember much of this trip, but I suspect it was more interesting than sitting in a cap and gown listening to someone I didn’t know drone on.